And let me tell you, there’s nothing like watching someone else’s “Day 1” while you’re sitting over here at “Year 18.”

It made me laugh a little (and tear up a little, too). Weddings are magical — but marriage? Marriage is gritty, hilarious, exhausting, sacred, messy, and beautiful all at once.

If I could go back and tell my younger self what really matters, here’s what I’d say… My 18 lessons after 18 years of marriage —  Enjoy! 

1. Keep Showing Up

Falling in love is easy.
Staying in love? That’s where the real work begins.

Marriage isn’t a one-time promise made on a pretty August afternoon — it’s a thousand little “I still do’s.”  It’s showing up and choosing each other again and again, even when life feels messy, exhausting, or far from romantic.

The person you marry becomes your teammate and your safe place — It’s not just about being in love, it’s about choosing love — over and over.

“Marriage isn’t one big decision. It’s a thousand little ones, every single day.”

2. Wedding Vows Are Table Stakes

On your wedding day, “for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer” feels symbolic, right?

But over time? Those words get real.

• Sickness isn’t just a vow — it’s sitting in ER waiting rooms together.
  
• Poorer isn’t hypothetical — it’s surviving job losses, bills, and tight seasons.
  
• Worse isn’t poetic — it’s weathering arguments, stress, and unmet expectations.

3. Communication Is Everything

Maybe this one should be #1 — because if you don’t have healthy communication, nothing can hold two people together.

It’s easy for conversations in marriage to become all about logistics—what’s for dinner, what bills are due, where’s the event tonight – and before you know it, you’re functioning like business partners instead of soulmates.

But real intimacy comes from being seen. It’s about taking time to really talk—

• What are you excited about right now? 
• What’s been weighing on your heart? 
• What do you need from me?

Create space to really listen—not to fix, but to simply understand.

I recently learned the HHH method — and it’s brilliant! When someone you love comes to you with a problem, you ask:

“Do you want to be Helped, Heard, or Hugged?”

• Helped: Deconstruct the problem and identify solutions.
• Heard: Listen intently and allow the other person to vent.
• Hugged: Provide comforting touch.

Marriage is about walking through life hand in hand and staying continuously curious about the person you chose.  Because we all change—and love grows best when we keep rediscovering and choosing each other through every season.

“Just gonna tell y’all something. By the time you’ve been married over 40 years, you’ve been married to about four different people. So have they. It’s a miracle of God any of us ever make it.” — Beth Moore, Bible Teacher

4. Have the Hard Conversations

Behind every resentment is an unmet need. 

Early on, I thought my hubby should “just know” what I needed, or what I was thinking. Spoiler: He didn’t.

I would stew quietly, frustrated because he didn’t ask. Meanwhile, he was oblivious, thinking everything was fine. (Because to him, it was!)  Because I never SAID anything…But years of marriage taught me not to bury it. Don’t let sarcasm, passive aggressiveness, or my personal favorite – the silent treatment – stand in the way. Don’t assume your partner knows if you don’t tell them. 

Be upfront with your feelings and emotions. 

Have the hard conversations early and often – don’t avoid difficult subjects just because it’s easier to keep the peace by staying quiet.  

Because if you can’t talk to your partner, who can you really talk to? 

I recently learned about the concept of Marriage Meetings — what’s that? A regular, intentional time to pause and connect with your partner. It’s a regular check-in to get everything on the table—clear the air and get on the same page.

“Don’t avoid the hard to keep the peace”

5. Learn to Let Some Things Go (But Don’t Let Resentment Fester)

With that said, not everything is worth a fight. 

• Is he folding the towels wrong? Let it go.  
• He doesn’t want to watch Gilmore Girls. That’s fine. 
• He forgot to pick up your dry cleaning. It’s ok. 

Bottom line: Pick your battles — because if you fight over everything, you’ll never have anything.

That doesn’t mean couples never argue. (That’s not good either!) But it means they learn how to argue well. Don’t bring up past mistakes. Don’t jab at insecurities. Keep the focus on the problem, not the person. Stay on the same team.

When something is important to you, speak up — but do it kindly. Don’t stuff it down until you explode. (Because I promise you, you will eventually erupt….)

Because pushing it down never works, it only builds and erupts at the worst possible moment. (And then spilling Diet Coke in your new Jeep ignites the biggest fight of your marriage. And suddenly you’re not fighting about Diet Coke at all and wondering what the hell just happened??) #truestory

“Successful couples learn to live with the problems they can’t resolve. They navigate them with humor, affection, and acceptance.” — John Gottman

6. Relationships Are Never 50/50

Despite what we like to say, relationships are never perfectly equal. Some seasons, I’m the one running on fumes, and my hubby carries the weight. Other times, I’ve carried more than my share to help him. The important part is that it still adds up to 100%

The point isn’t keeping score. It’s asking:

• Where am I in this season — emotionally, mentally, physically?
  
• What do I have to give?
  
• What do I need?

This is where communication becomes critical – be honest with yourself and your partner about what you have to give and what you need from them. And above all, learn to extend grace to each other, each and every day….

And I may be an outlier on this one, but I think it’s ok to go to bed angry — the problem almost always seems smaller in the morning, and after a good night’s sleep, we’re able to approach things from a level-headed place (Not fueled by frustration and exhaustion!)

7. Be a Team

It’s not me vs. you.

It’s us vs. the world.

Marriage works best when you combine strengths, cover each other’s weaknesses, and remember you’re fighting with each other, not against each other.

Here’s the truth: Your life is hard. His life is hard. But it’s NOT a competition. Stop keeping score over who’s more stressed, who worked longer hours, who got up with the kids/pups more, or who’s bringing in more $

Keeping a mental tally only builds resentment. Instead, approach each other with empathy, compassion, and the mindset of, “How can we carry this load together?”

I love being #TeamSimon

“Marriage isn’t about who has it harder. It’s about carrying the hard together.”

8.  Talk about Money (Early & Often)

Here’s the thing no one tells you when you tie the knot –  money in marriage isn’t really about money at all. It’s about alignment in security, expectations, and trust.

Some couples toss it all into one big joint account: “One pot, two spoons.” Others keep things separate: “Your money, my money, we’ll figure out the groceries & house bills.” 

And honestly? Both can work!

The only time it doesn’t work is when you’re not aligned. If one person thinks

you both are saving for that Hawaiian vacation while the other is building a secret Amazon Prime empire, conflict is coming! And neither of your are wrong per se, but not on the same page. 

So, whatever your system, make sure you both know it, agree on it, and keep up your end of the collaborative financial plans. 

36.7% of marital separations are due to financial differences & problems

9. Know How You’re Wired (Love Languages Matter)

Newsflash: your spouse is not a mind-reader (shocking, I know).

Love doesn’t look or feel the same for everyone. For me? I want words — tell me I’m amazing, tell me I’m pretty, heck, tell me I look cute while unloading the dishwasher. Words of affirmation are my love language. And when I vent about work or life, I don’t need a 12-step solution plan. I just need him to nod, hug me, and say, “I get it. It’s okay to feel this way.” 

My hubs, though… Totally different. He’s wired to be steady, logical, strong – words don’t hit him the same way as they do me.  He needs companionship & physical touch —  a safe space to drop the armor and just be. Hugs, hand-holding, a back rub after a long day…(If you know what I mean…?)

That’s marriage: learning what fills your tank, and what fills theirs.

Here’s the real kicker – most of us love the way we want to be loved, not the way our partner actually feels it.  At the end of the day, we all need to feel loved, safe, and connected. We just speak different dialects of the same language….

“Love your person in the way they need to be loved, not just in the way you want to give it.”

10. Intimacy Matters

Yes, sex matters — a lot. But intimacy is more than what happens in the bedroom. It’s laughing until you can’t breathe. It’s coffee on a quiet Saturday morning. It’s holding hands in Church. It’s choosing each other when life feels extra heavy.

But, without physical intimacy, marriages often slip into “roommate mode.” You share a roof, eat the same meals, maybe watch Netflix side by side while scrolling your phones — but the spark fades. There’s no physical touch, no emotional closeness, just two people co-existing. 

And honestly? Who wants to do that for the rest of their life?

For men, sex often feels as essential as food or water. I once saw a (wildly inappropriate but true) meme that said:

“Wives, keep your husbands’ stomachs full and their balls empty.”

Crude? Yep. True? Yep. 

For women, emotional connection usually needs to come first. Both matter. Both are valid. And both need intentional nurturing.

And yes, there are seasons of life that sometimes take over — intimacy is a fire — and fires don’t keep burning on their own. If neglected for too long, the flames die out…

12. Preserve Some Mystery

The honeymoon phase is real. Romantic love fires up the same brain circuits as gambling or cocaine. Why? Unpredictability.

Your brain craves the unknown — that’s why waiting for that first “good morning” text feels electric. But fast-forward years later, and the  “We need eggs” text hits… well, it hits different.

Relationships naturally drift toward routine. You share chores, schedules, and a bathroom. You’ve seen each other sick, irritated, and unfiltered. Over time, mystery fades — and so can desire.

But keeping the spark alive doesn’t mean secrets or games. It means space, curiosity, and a little surprise. 

It means maintaining your own life—your friends, hobbies, and passions—instead of folding everything into the relationship. It’s easy to lose yourself in love, to slowly blend your identity into your partner’s until you forget who you were before. But remember, the person your spouse fell in love with had a rich, full life—unique opinions, interests, and dreams. Nurturing those parts of yourself keeps the relationship vibrant and helps you both continue to grow—together and individually.

Remember — your partner is still evolving . So, keep rediscovering them.

“Desire thrives on curiosity. Stay curious about each other.”

13. Don’t Expect Your Partner to Heal Your Wounds

We don’t enter relationships as blank slates. We each carry a history – shame, abandonment, unmet needs.  

Somewhere along the line, we’re sold a lie that love will fix it. We’re told that the right partner will understand us, heal our inner child, and finally give us the safety we never had.

Yes, love can support healing. But it can’t do the healing for you.

We need to seek out our own healing journey — whatever that looks like.

Your wounds are yours. Own them. Tend to them. 

Otherwise, you’ll bleed on the person who didn’t cut you.

14. Forgive Often. Protect Trust.

You’re going to mess up. So will your spouse. 

Sometimes in small ways (snapping when you’re tired), sometimes in bigger ways – but we have to learn to forgive if we want a forever. 

But forgiveness can only thrive where there’s trust. And trust? That’s sacred. Once it’s broken, the relationship never feels quite the same.

And funny enough, trust doesn’t usually fail because of one huge betrayal. It fails in the many little ways — when we hide how we really feel, when we fake it to keep the peace, when we show up as a version of ourselves instead of the real thing.

Most divorces I hear about are ‘death by a thousand cuts’ – it wasn’t one big blip to end everything, it was all the little things that were never addressed or spoken about. 

Authenticity is what protects trust. Forgiveness is what restores it. Both are non-negotiables. 

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” — Buddha 

15. Build a Shared Future

Couples thrive when they’re building something together — whether it’s a family, a business, or even just planning the next hiking adventure.

Shared purpose & experiences are the heartbeat of connection. When both of you feel invested in a vision—something that excites you and gives you direction—you stay united.

It’s not just about reaching a goal; it’s about the journey of creating it side by side and the moments that weave your story together.

A shared dream reminds you that you’re not just co-existing—you’re co-creating a life that reflects both of your hearts.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction,” — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

16. Share Interests (Even If They’re Not Yours)

Your spouse’s passions may not always be yours. That’s okay. Show up anyway.  The point isn’t to love what they love; it’s to love them alongside it.

There’s something special about seeing your partner in their element—their heart on fire.

My hubby did a triathlon with me for a few years. It wasn’t really his thing, but he showed up with me—because I loved it. That kind of effort speaks volumes. It says,

I see you. I’m in this with you, and I love seeing you alive and happy.

So even if their hobby isn’t exactly your thing, show up with curiosity and support. And if you’re there? Be all in. Don’t sulk your way through.  (I promise, they notice!) 

Offer encouragement, ask questions, and get involved in small ways. 

Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do. — David Wilkerson

17. Go on Date Nights &  Have Fun Together!

Yes, even after 18 years. Especially after 18 years.

Get dressed up, go out, laugh together. Or stay in, order takeout, and slow dance in the kitchen. The point isn’t what you do, it’s that you do it — just the two of you.

I get it. Life gets busy – and the first thing to go is usually date night. We’re tired. We’re distracted. We’re beat down… 

When date night arrives, I usually have those same feelings– but after I step away with my hubby, and his humor comes out, the stresses of the day slowly deteriorate. 

Life is heavy.. But laughter? It lightens the load.

Some of my favorite memories with my hubs aren’t big milestones. They’re the silly, spontaneous ones — the ones where inside jokes are built and laughter fills our hearts.

“Humor doesn’t just heal. It keeps you connected.”

18. God-Centered Marriage

At the heart of every lasting marriage is one simple truth – we’re two imperfect people, loved by a perfect God.

A Christ-centered relationship doesn’t mean everything will be easy — it means you’ll have an anchor when the waves hit. When pride creeps in, His grace softens hearts. When distance grows, His love bridges the gap.

A strong marriage starts with our Heavenly Father.

• Pray together. 
• Worship together. 
• Dream together. 

Because when God is at the center, we can weather the storms and everything else seems to fall into place…

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. – Romans 12:10 

The Wrap

I don’t pretend to have all the answers or follow my own advice all the time, but I do know this: 18 years have taught me a lot.

Happily ever after is real — but it looks different than you think at day one. 

It’s not perfect. It’s not always balanced. But it’s beautiful. 

And I can’t wait for the next few decades together as #teamsimon

This year I found myself reflecting on what I’ve learned—but also on what I’m still unlearning.

And what it means to live fully, honestly, and on my own terms. 

This isn’t a list of rules or a how-to article…. It’s a letter to myself. And maybe, to you too. XO

1. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

I used to wear exhaustion like a badge. As if being busy and burned out somehow proved my worth. But after a few major bumps in the road, I learned this: rest isn’t a luxury. It’s not something you “earn” –  it’s essential maintenance. Slow living matters. If I’m constantly depleted, I can’t show up well for anyone—not my family, not my work, and definitely not myself. And what good am I then?

2. Your calendar is a reflection of your values.

There was a season in life when my days felt hijacked. Training, travel, meetings, errands, last-minute requests—none of it aligned with what actually mattered to me. I’ve learned to be very protective of my time. If something’s important—whether that’s a workout, time with Paul, or an hour to write—it goes on the calendar. Otherwise, distractions creep in. A color-coded Google Calendar isn’t confining; it feels like freedom to me!

3. What you consume, you become.

This one’s sneaky. I never used to think twice about what I scrolled, what I read, who I followed. But with age, I see the connection. The things I consume don’t just fill time—they shape my beliefs, my focus, my mood. Yes, you’ve seen less of me on Facebook –  I’ve chosen to step away from the noise… not entirely, but with intention.

4. Gratitude shifts your world.

I journal, pray, and do my devotional each morning. Because the more I look for what’s good, the more I find it. And the less I’m tempted to chase happiness somewhere else.

5. Time with loved ones is everything.

I’ve had seasons where I chased success so hard that I forgot who was supporting me from the sidelines. But nothing I achieve matters if I’m disconnected from the people I love. A beautiful life isn’t just a list of accomplishments. It’s built on traveling to new places, dinners with real friends, conversations reminiscing with family, and late-night laughs with your besties. 

6. People are thinking about you way less than you think.

All those moments I second-guessed myself, wondering how I came across, if I looked silly, if I said the wrong thing… truth is, no one was keeping score. Everyone’s busy worrying about themselves, not you.. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still working on this, but I’ve shifted to start doing things for me, not others…

7. The past is a teacher—not a place to live.

Some memories still sting. Some mistakes still whisper in the dark. But dragging them around like anchors only slows me down. I’ve learned to honor the past without being consumed by it. All the trials and lessons I’ve experienced have shaped me into who I am today, and I love who I’ve become.  Pro Tip: The windshield is bigger than the rearview for a reason.

8. Your relationship can’t be your whole identity.

This was a tough one to learn. It’s so easy to outsource our joy to someone else—to think a partner, a job, a race, or a life milestone will finally make us feel whole. And all that chasing is friggin exhausting! But if you’re not content on your own, no external gratification will ever fix that. The best relationships are built when two full people choose to grow together— 

9. Focus on what’s in your control.

This one took years. My head used to spin as I tried to fix every problem and control every outcome. But most things are just not my burden to carry. And that’s okay! Now, I am working to focus on what I can control—my response, my habits, my boundaries. Letting go and letting God isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom & strength!  Something I’m working on every day… 

10. Manage your energy, not just your time.

This one is HUGE!  Some of us jive better late at night, others early mornings… but either way, learning to maximize your personal energy levels is the ticket to better productivity and flow states. My energy is sacred, I only have a finite amount each day… Now I pay attention to what drains me, what restores me, what brings me alive. 

11. Trust yourself

You can’t live confidently if you second-guess every decision you make. And yet, for years, I did. I would spin and experience major decision fatigue that kept me stuck. I’ve learned that building trust with yourself is like building trust with anyone else: you show up. You follow through. You prove, over and over, that you’ve got your own back. It’s OK to trust your own gut…. 

12. Share your blessings. Be the light.

We all have God-given gifts that we can share with the world.  When you’ve been through enough hard seasons, you realize how powerful a small act of kindness can be. A smile. A genuine compliment. A quick check-in text. The world doesn’t need more critics. It needs more light. 

13. Tackle the thing you’re avoiding. 

We often procrastinate because we’re waiting for some burst of energy or motivation to magically strike. But it’s progress that creates momentum – and often, the hardest part is simply getting started!

What have you been avoiding?  The email. The workout. The hard conversation. The pile in the corner you’ve walked past for three weeks….(that’s me!)

Action shifts perspective….

14. Doing it all is a myth.

There will always be seasons. Seasons of hustle. Seasons of healing. Seasons where your career is front and center, and seasons where your family needs more of you. Times when your health takes priority, and times when rest is prioritized. 

You’re not meant to do it all, all at once.  Life isn’t a perfect balance—it’s a rhythm.

I’m working to lean into the season I’m in – right here. Right now.  

15. Small steps still move you forward.

I’ve been writing my devotional in the quiet pockets of my mornings—just 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there. No perfect writing schedule. No creative retreat. Just steady progress.

And guess what? A year later… I’m almost ready to self-publish my first devotional.

That’s the power of 1% better every day. It doesn’t feel like much in the moment—but it stacks. It builds. 

The Wrap

The biggest lesson of all?

That none of this is linear. Life is hard. Growth is messy. Healing takes time.

Sometimes, I still forget everything I’ve just written. Some days I still seek approval, still scroll too long, still say yes when I mean no. But then I remember—I’m not aiming for perfection. I’m aiming for presence.

I choose how I show up in this life…. Cheers to 43 years!

xo,
jules

The years go by in a flash!

I’ve always heard people say that, but now, more than ever, I have found it to be true!

My birthday was last Wednesday. I turned 42. Birthdays are a time of reflection and reset for me.  

Back in 2020, I started a collection of life lessons, and every year, I update it with new ones that I’ve learned, often the hard way. I was saying the other day that I feel like I’ve aged 10 years in battling chronic illness. But one thing I understand more than ever is that life is precious. Our time here on earth is short.  We must make the most of it. 

So here it is –  My personal lessons and learnings about relationships, self-care, faith, wellness, and everything in between….  Enjoy!

42 Life Lessons….

1. Not everyone is going to like you (it’s ok, not to like everyone either!)
2. Appreciate your healthy body – it’s the greatest asset in the world
3. Trust your gut and follow your heart. It’s the best way…
4. Stop people pleasing already — it’s an impossible task with no finish line.  Be authentic, take off the masks.  It’s too damn exhausting. 
5. Rest is sacred — make time for rest! (…or your body will make time for you)
6. The choices you make define who you are, choose wisely.
7. Mental health is just as important as physical health.  
8. Don’t be in such a hurry to get where you’re going. Slow down. Be in the moment. Enjoy the journey.  (There are very few things in life that can’t wait until tomorrow.)
9. Alone time is not something to be avoided, but something to be cherished.
10. You can’t be everything to everyone— if you try – you won’t be anything to anybody. (Show me your calendar and I will tell you your priorities. Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you where you’re going.)
11. Don’t live life on autopilot — live with intention and purpose.
12. It’s totally ok to say NO to things that don’t serve you
13. Know when is enough. Learn to be content with what you have and appreciate when your cup is full.  
14. Doing what you love should not be a luxury, but a lifestyle.  (If your goal does not have a schedule, it is a dream…..)
15. Spend time with friends who lift and energize you — and less time with those who drain and deplete you. Life’s too short!  (And compliment people behind their back. It’ll come back to you.)
16. There will be peaks and Valleys…. But anything worth achieving takes time, commitment, and hard work —  there are no shortcuts. 
17. No one is coming to save you — you gotta get up and save yourself, sis.
18. Doing it all is a myth — there will always be seasons and times in your life when you will be focusing on different areas of importance.  It’s not only OK, it’s necessary. 
19. Be proactive, not reactive.  You’ll get a lot further by being consistent than consistently trying to be great… 
20. Always say ‘I love you’ –  
21. Have the hard conversations…Ask the question you want to ask. Don’t hesitate or beat around the bush. Be direct.  Then move on!
22. Writing down one thing you are grateful for each day is the cheapest possible therapy ever.
23. Read good books – never stop learning!
24. Quoting one of my favorite movies, Hope Floats, “Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s what’s in the middle that counts.”  Enjoy the journey.
25. There’s a perfect time for everything – always trust God’s timing. 
26. Check-in on family and friends… call your mom!  
27. Share your blessings with the world… be the light!  Be kind. A simple act of kindness can make someone else’s day and it will help you feel better while you’re at it.
28. Mood follows action—not the other way around. If you want to change your mental state, change your physical state first. (Rich Roll)
29. Your past doesn’t define you – it’s never too late to re-write your story!
30. Don’t forget where you came from or burn those bridges.  (You never know when someone from your past will be a key to your future)
31.  The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested. (Kevin Kelly)
32. There’s never going to be the perfect time – just START!  Whatever it is, start!
33. Be a giver and a taker – Marriage is rarely 50/50, take turns giving and receiving.  (And don’t keep score!)
34.  Being uber-busy and worn out is not a badge of honor – rest your soul! Prioritize self-care – you won’t think you have time (but you do!)
35. Let laughter be the soundtrack of your marriage (and all relationships!)
36. Don’t hit snooze, just get up and face the day.  Keep showing up!
37. You’ll never be given more than you can handle, God sees you
38. Eat well.  Drink Water. Go the eff to sleep! (Your output depends on your input. Garbage in=garbage out)
39. Travel, get out in nature, and stretch outside your comfort zone.  Focus on experiences – not things! 
40. Move your body and learn about your body
41. Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.
42. Just be you! You are enough. I am enough. We’re Enough my friend, xoxo 

I put together this list for myself, but honestly, I really hope that some of it can help you, too. If you find anything in here that speaks to you, don’t hesitate to pass it along. By the way, have you ever thought about making your own list of life lessons? It’s super helpful to have something to look back on when you need a little inspiration – or see how things change year after year.

I highly recommend giving it a shot, whether it’s your bday or not.

XO,

jules

Lately, life has shifted into high gear. This season has challenged me to maintain my boundaries and keep my priorities in check. I’ve also gained more insight into why the hustle culture can feel so good — we all love to feel important and appreciated. (More on that later)

But it wasn’t until my health deteriorated that I finally understood the real cost of it all. Now, on the other side of chronic illness, I have a deeper appreciation for life’s rhythms and prioritize my well-being. 

Don’t get me wrong – slow living isn’t easy and goes against the cultural grain.  But I’m here to tell you that despite what’s happening in your life, you can slow down, too… 

Let’s unpack this a little more…

The Allure of Busyness

First, why are we so busy? Simple. It’s the fear of missing out (FOMO).  

Let me explain. People-pleasers like myself want to feel important, needed, and always in the mix. We take on more tasks, attend more meetings, and cease to exist beyond our productivity levels to be well-liked and well-respected. 

When I was working in corporate marketing, I continued to take most of my calls and meetings while on vacation. I didn’t want to miss a beat or fall behind, and I hated the idea of being a bottleneck or slowing down progress. 

But most of all, I just didn’t want to miss out. I loved being in the know and (feeling) in control. 

I’m reading Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People, in which he outlines how our social interactions are fundamentally driven by two needs: 

The need to feel important and the need to feel appreciated.  

Think about it… this applies to almost every situation and relationship in our lives, right? Let me ask you this: Are you seeking too much importance and appreciation from your work life?  

“Work invades the places you let it” is often said, reminding us that work-life balance is ours to define—if only we dare to set boundaries. I’m not saying it’s easy; it takes courage and consistency to set limits. 

Bottom line: No boundaries = no peace. 

Busy or Productive?  Slowing Down to Speed Up

It’s easy to confuse a jam-packed schedule with being productive. I used to spend my days jumping from call to call and pounding out emails into the wee hours.  While I honestly did feel like I was working hard… was I productive? 

Nope, not really. 

You may have heard of the “swallow the frog” concept. It refers to tackling the most daunting task on your to-do list right at the start of your day. By doing it first, you essentially ‘swallow the frog,’ and everything else seems easier by comparison.  While I don’t always follow this rule, it makes a HUGE difference when I do, and highly recommend it!

Instead of diving into your day with email and social media, which dictate your actions and energy, why not start with journaling or quiet time? 

When your head is clear, try writing down the three most important tasks you need to complete, and let that guide you for the rest of the day. 

As the day progresses, continue to take one thing at a time. Numerous studies reiterate that we can’t multitask—the cognitive load is too much.  Even if you think you kick butt at juggling a million things, sorry – you can’t (at least not well).  

Bottom line: Choose one thing and do it well, then move on. 

Your Values Set Your Priorities 

I’ve learned that life should be filled with energy givers rather than takers. But how do we ensure we are on the path that lights us up, not wears us down? 

It starts with defining our personal values. 

I did a values assessment in therapy a couple of years ago and found that my values didn’t align with my life.  (Wake up call!) 

If you’re interested, here’s my list: 

• God (Spirituality)
• Marriage (Paul)
• Health (Healing/Well-being)
• Relationships (Friends & Family) 
• Work (Freelance/Consult)
• Hobbies (Run, Write)

Reconnecting with my core values helps create alignment and sets the stage for a life that nurtures me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

A couple of weeks ago, our Pastor got me thinking. He asked us to really look into our lives and answer this question—are we just saying we’ve put God at the center, or are we living like it? Saying we follow God is simple, but the real test is in the day-to-day, in how we actually live it out.

Slowing down to carefully align our choices with our values is a powerful step toward connecting with our authentic selves. 

Bottom line: Understand your personal values, the rest will fall into place  

How Getting Organized Helps Us Slow Down and Focus

So, how do you know if you’re living according to your values and priorities?  For me, it started with getting organized – I wanted to see exactly where my time was going and what was getting the bulk of my energy. 

Like most of you, email and social media were my biggest time sucks, so let’s start there. 

Email  

I set specific times of the day to check emails.  This means not just flagging or leaving messages unread for later. It’s about being ready to respond then and there because, let me tell you, those unread emails do weigh on your mind, piling up mental clutter until you finally get around to dealing with them.

I’ve also turned off my email alerts. As an ADD kid, I must reduce interruptions to stay focused and on task throughout the day. 

When I do check my emails, I have a bunch of newsletters or items to ‘read later’—which I snooze to late afternoon. This strategy keeps my inbox—and my mind—much less cluttered, letting me focus on the more important tasks during my highest energy levels early in the day. 

Social Media  

I limit checking social media to about once a day, and sometimes, I closer to just  3-4 times a week. 

And here’s the kicker: I do most of my scrolling sessions while I’m on the elliptical at the gym. Weird? 

Maybe. 

But this way, I’m not just planted on the couch, losing time to the scroll. There’s an automatic cutoff, too—once my 45-minute workout is up, so is my social media time. 

Oh, and the best part? By not being on socials all the time, the algorithm practically hand-delivers the top posts I’m interested in seeing (with much less mindless scrolling!)

Decluttering 

Next up, I tackled the clutter and excess stuff crowding my life. You wouldn’t believe how much of a time-suck it was just searching and sifting through things every single day. 

Seriously, the minutes really start to stack up! Think about it—how often have you wasted time hunting down that one coffee mug that somehow makes your morning brew taste just right? Or the daily treasure hunt in your closet for an outfit that not only fits perfectly but also hits that sweet spot of comfort and style? 

Don’t even get me started on the chaos of navigating through a packed pantry or an overstuffed medicine cabinet. 

But here’s the thing: cutting down on clutter doesn’t just give back precious minutes to your day, it also works wonders for your mental state. 

Bottom line: There’s time in the day if you know where to look…

Busy, Stressed & Unhealthy (It doesn’t have to be that way)

The pressure to remain constantly engaged and always ‘on’ takes a toll.  And look, frankly, this wreaks havoc on our mental and physical health— to say the least!

Being in a chronically heightened state can lead to everything from sleep disturbances and anxiety to physical ailments like headaches and fatigue—clear signs that something’s got to give.

When your body whispers, pay attention so you don’t have to hear it scream.

The good news? Shifting away from this non-stop mode is possible. 

Starting small, like setting boundaries for work hours, dedicating time to unwind without screens, and prioritizing activities that nourish rather than deplete your energy, can make a massive difference. 

For me, slowing down proved to be an unexpected accelerant to a healthier, more balanced, and ultimately more productive life.  But it wasn’t without a lot of work and intentional actions.

The Wrap: Combating Busyness & Slow Living

I’m still not sure why we still buy into the myth that rest is for the weak and brag about our endless to-dos, but that’s the world we live in. 

Ask yourself this week …

Should you be on that call? 

Go to that event? 

Sign up for that volunteer gig?

Maybe?  Maybe not?

At the end of the day, we’re all wired differently, and slowing down can look different for each of us. But remember, true progress and fulfillment usually come from deliberate pauses and thoughtful reflection, not running from calendar block to calendar block…

I’m cheering you on!

XO, 

Jules 

The last few weeks have been the busiest since I’ve come back from battling chronic illness. I’m not going to lie – it was really friggin hard. 

Here’s what’s been going on…

• Started a new consulting client
• Hosted the biggest Texas Big Star Half & 5K yet…
• Unexpectedly had to get a new car 
• Managed booth, expo, and meetings for FinTech start-up at their first conference.

And ironically, I learned that April is Chronic Stress Awareness Month.  Who knew?

I’m trying to set and maintain boundaries while making sure I do what I say and follow through on my commitments. It’s been a lot of juggling!

In many ways, my situation right now is similar to the circumstances we encounter during a tough race.  Adrenaline keeps us going, but we do eventually crash.  We’re not robots or machines – we’re human beings with an innate need for rest and downtime.  

I preach about slow living, but I realize first-hand how challenging it can be in daily practice.  (Especially with the month I’ve just had!)

On that note, here are a few thoughts and ideas I want to share for the next time life gets hard and overwhelming…(because it will!)

1. Nothing Lasts Forever

There’s one thing we know for sure—everything in life eventually comes to an end. No matter how dark and chaotic, the sun will eventually rise again and shine brightly upon us. 

But I get it. It’s frustrating and stressful when you don’t know when that new dawn will come, and the finish line can seem further and further away.

Yet, I promise you are progressing, and at some point, you’ll cross that line.  Keep telling yourself that you’ll get through it. You’re stronger than you think….

Keep going.

2. Accept Your Situation 

I can’t tell you how many times in the past month I have said, ‘If I could just change….xyz” 

But it’s up to us to make the most of where we are—not to wish it away. This is the hand we’ve been dealt, and we have to play it. Crappy as it may be, folding is not an option. 

Take stock of what’s happening around you. Try and understand what’s going on. This isn’t just about taking a backseat; it’s about gaining clarity. 

When we take a step back, we can often see the bigger picture and discover paths forward we might not have noticed in the heat of the moment.

Don’t react yet. Just be aware for now. 

When we pause, we give ourselves the opportunity to proceed with intention instead of haste. 

Take this time to breathe, reflect, and prepare for the moves you’ll make next. 

3. Control the Controllables 

Back to the previous point: You can’t change the hand you’ve been dealt but you can decide how to play it. 

We tend to make rash decisions when things are moving fast and it feels like everything is falling apart. Personally, when this happens, I’ll start to suffer from decision fatigue and spin, which makes me feel even more out of control!

But if we can keep our cool, shrug off what we can’t change, and take a deep breath, we can start to play the game.

Remember you control: your actions, your effort, and your attitude. 

4. Adjust on the Fly

C’mon… how often do things go exactly as planned? Not very often. 

So, what if Plan A falls apart? Time to start Plan B. Sometimes, it’s even better than the original.

The bottom line is that we have to learn to roll with the punches. When life gets crazy, we need to be more adaptable and flexible than ever. 

 I’m working on this myself… and would be the first to agree it’s not easy! 

But the one thing I’ve learned is every time we adjust and make changes, we uncover new opportunities and perspectives. 

Life is about embracing the unpredictable and finding joy in the unexpected. 

Trust me, it’s an adventure that’s worth every bit of the effort.

5. Be a Good Friend 

You know, everyone’s got their battles, big or small, but at the end of the day, we’re all in this thing called life together.

Sometimes, when life gets hard and messy, it’s easy for us to retreat and isolate—yet this is when we need a good friend and community the most. 

Is there someone in your life who seems a bit lost or could use a boost, why not reach out? It could be as simple as sharing a smile, offering a listening ear, or lending a helping hand.

Be the friend you want to have.

The Wrap – Remember When Life Gets Hard…

It’s been one heck of a ride this month with new clients, big events, unexpected changes, and, let’s not forget, learning to juggle it all without dropping the ball (or losing my mind!) 

Through the chaos, I’ve uncovered some new truths: nothing lasts forever, acceptance is key, control what you can, be ready to pivot, and, most importantly, be there for others.

Remember, every challenging season is just another chapter in our adventure, offering lessons and insights to make us into the person we’re meant to become

So, take a deep breath,  Keep your spirits high and your heart open—

I’m cheering you on…

XO

jules

If you know me, you know I value consistency and discipline—sometimes to a fault. It’s amazing that even positive habits when pushed to the brink, can bring out negatively in our lives. 

It wasn’t until I ‘crashed and burned’ with chronic illness that I was finally pushed to a new level of understanding myself. I was forced to be still, look within, and slow the heck down!

On this journey, I learned many important lessons that have nothing to do with doctors, medications, or holistic treatments (and everything to do with life).

Here are 5 lessons I’ve learned coming back and rediscovering life again….

Lesson 1 – Embrace Change, Be Adaptable

Admittedly, I’m not good with change. I hate uncertainty and can’t seem to pivot when things don’t go as planned. 

But I’ve learned: the only constant in life is change.  

As Mike Tyson famously said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.“

Life is chaotic.  We can’t fight it.  There’s no way we’ll ever know everything or be able to prepare for all that lies ahead…. And that’s OK!  

There’s actually a lot of beauty in not knowing every detail or how this chapter of our lives will turn out… The sooner we rest in God’s plan and stop fighting our need to know, the sooner we can experience the peace and calmness in our lives.  

Bottom line: Adaptability is a superpower!

Lesson 2 – Too Much Focus on the Days & You’ll Lose Sight of the Years

It’s easy to get caught up in the daily ups and downs and lose sight of the bigger picture.  When I was in the thick of things, I would get so entrenched in the daily struggle that I had a hard time zooming out to recognize the small wins and healing that was taking place over time.

Constantly zooming in leads to two problems:

1. Challenges seem bigger than they are.
2. Progress seems slower than it actually is.

But when we step back and view life from 10,000 feet, we can see how manageable our challenges are and how evident our progress has been.

When in doubt, zoom out!

Think forward 40+  years –  how would your future self be changed by what you’re doing right now? 

Go back 15+ years –  how would your past self be proud of you today? 

Bottom line: Stop and look back at how far you’ve come!

Lesson 3 – Discipline Trumps Feelings

There are many days when I don’t feel like getting up early, doing my morning routine, and hitting the gym. Even when I know I’ll feel 1000x better if I do, I can’t get motivated.  

I just don’t feel like it. 

It’s easy to be disciplined and consistent when you feel great—but what about the days we feel like crap? 

I’ve learned that starting is the hardest part.  When I was sick – it was depressing, and I never felt like doing anything.  Even things I once enjoyed seemed like a big chore, and it was easier to just bail out. 

READ: Why I’ll never take my health for granted

But when I did take one step in the right direction, I kept up the momentum.  The power of the mind is very real. 

Now, when I don’t feel like running, I tell myself, ‘just run a mile’.   If I don’t feel like writing, I tell myself, ‘just write a sentence or two…’

And you know what…. 99% of the time, I keep going.  I run all the miles, write all the words, and do all the things. 

Bottom line: Just start.

Lesson 4 – Slow Down & Listen to Your Body

It’s a lesson that hit me hard: sometimes, you just have to slow down and tune in to what your body is trying to tell you. I get it —we’re all about the grind, thinking rest is for the weak. 

I’ve been there myself—pushing down that inner voice, trying to keep up the pace with everyone else. It wasn’t long before the rush became my normal; I didn’t even question it.

When you start to prioritize yourself, it seems everyone wants to give you their advice and tell you what’s best. But the truth is, only you know what you need—and that may look very different from the right way for others. 

Carve your own path. 

Listening to your body isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a form of wisdom.

Bottom Line: Listen to your body.  You do YOU! 

Lesson 5 – We’re all in this life together. 

Maybe you’re not on the brink of burnout or suffering disease, but we all have our own struggles. 

And the truth is this: Every single person you encounter is fighting a battle—and it’s probably one that you don’t understand.

No matter our differences, the pain we feel is universal. We all have a unique story.

Even though we each step into battle carrying our own strengths and weaknesses, diverse backgrounds, and various viewpoints – we share a common bond in facing it together.

Pain is pain.  And we all experience it.  You’re not alone. 

Bottom Line: We’re all a hot mess.  

The Wrap – Life Lessons After Burnout & Chronic Illness

My journey has taught me a lot about bouncing back and enjoying life, and I’ve realized there’s a fine line between healthy habits and pushing yourself too hard. (And that burnout is a very real thing!)

The bottom line:

1. Change is the only constant, so roll with it. It makes life less predictable but more exciting.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Looking at the big picture helps keep things in perspective.
3. Discipline matters, but so does listening to yourself. On rough days, just getting started can make a huge difference.
4. Slowing down to check in with yourself isn’t lazy—it’s smart.
5. We’re all in this together. Everybody’s fighting a battle you know nothing about, so a little kindness goes a long way.

In short, life’s a wild ride, – Remember, we’re all figuring it out as we go, so let’s be easy on ourselves and others.

I’m cheering you on!

XO,

jules

“If I could just get to Kona, then I would be happy,” I told myself,  honestly believing it.  But the truth is, there’s always something else.  Even after one goal is accomplished,  we put the next one in its place, pushing out the happiness timeline again (and again)!

I just finished reading Kara Goucher’s book The Longest Race — which is excellent, by the way!  

But, it got me thinking more about the relentless pursuit of the next big thing —whether it’s more training, more awards, or more fame, the pursuit of “more” can become all-consuming. 

Even if you’re not an athlete, I think we all fall into the “if, then” trap.  

Let me explain…

The Dangers of Making Winning Your Whole Life

Within the running world, Kara Goucher’s experiences shed light on the consequences of making winning our whole life. She was surrounded by a culture that constantly pushed for more, where nothing ever seemed to be enough. 

This mindset eventually led to the doping scandals associated with the Nike Oregon Project. 

READ: Inside the Toxic Culture of the Nike Oregon Project ‘Cult’

Even though Kara stood strong and refused to give in, she faced penalties simply because she was racing against a goal that couldn’t be achieved without compromising her own values.

Sometimes, we can be so consumed we don’t even realize we’re on a slippery slope—then, living that way slowly becomes the norm.

Putting anything as an idol in our lives can fall apart in an instant. I don’t want to get over-spiritual here, but any time we put earthly things ahead of God in our lives, we become misaligned.

The Illusion of External Milestones and Happiness

We all fall into the trap of believing that happiness/success/fulfillment is just on the other side of the next milestone. 

Whether it’s wealth, a promotion, new fancy cars or houses, exotic vacations, or awards and recognition, we keep chasing a moving finish line…

If I just get that next promotion, then I’ll spend more time with my family.

Once I PR the marathon, then I’ll cut back on my training and prioritize my health. 

When I get that new car, then I’ll finally start giving back and donating again.

Each time we think we’ve found happiness in reaching a milestone, it quickly fades away, with a brand new one appearing in its place. There’s no end in sight, and the pursuit of “more” becomes a vicious cycle that never truly fulfills us.  

There’s ALWAYS something else – always. 

Rediscovering Satisfaction on the Journey

The truth is that true satisfaction and happiness are inside jobs. Our joy and peace ultimately come from above, and it is important to slow down and discern what doors God is opening (and even which ones he’s closing). 

Trust me, if you’re not happy with yourself now, you won’t be suddenly satisfied after the next benchmark.

But slowing down and appreciating the present moment allows us to find joy in the process rather than continuously chasing—and likely burning out along the way. 

I realize saying life is about the journey and not the destination is a little cliche, but it holds a lot of truth. 

Embracing the Journey Within

I get it. I live in the real world, too. 

It’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap and feel like you’re never enough. The grass always looks greener, and our self-worth tied to the latest win.

But the reality is we’re already enough – just as we are. 

In my personal experience, when I was constantly chasing one goal after another, I never gave myself the chance to question whether I truly wanted to qualify for Kona or if it was actually other people’s expectations guiding my decisions. (To this day, I can’t say for sure…)

But, let me ask you this:

What do you value?

It’s time to grab your journal, go for a walk, or have a heartfelt conversation with someone who truly understands. When we start aligning our actions with our values, we make more purposeful decisions and goals. 

And the journey itself becomes the path to self-awareness and self-fulfillment.

The Wrap – More Never Enough

In the pursuit of “more,” we often lose sight of what truly brings us happiness and contentment. 

Slowing down and giving ourselves the opportunity to pause, breathe, and pray is where it all starts. 

Don’t get me wrong—I love goal-setting and working to achieve the next big challenge, but when we get stuck in a place where nothing will make us happy until we get it, that’s where we get stuck!

How can you learn to embrace the season you’re in right now?  

Remember, if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.

I’m cheering you on…

XO,

jules

If you find it hard to sit and do nothing without feeling guilty, you’re not alone. 

As someone who has experienced burnout and struggled with downtime and stillness in the past, I can definitely relate. 

There’s a popular study where participants were given the choice of sitting alone with their thoughts or administering mild electric shocks to themselves. 

The results? Yup, shockingly enough, they preferred electric shocks! Phew, this shows just how uncomfortable we can be with silence and solitude.

But how do you get good at doing nothing?  Let’s take a look at slow living and the art of simply being…

Why Embrace Boredom?

Go ahead, get bored!

Why? Overstimulation, especially from screens, can actually dull our minds.  Not to mention it wires us to want more and more external input. (hello, dopamine hits!)

But, when we get intentional about taking time out,  our brains have a chance to recharge, refresh, and regain clarity. 

Studies have shown that individuals who have even moderate levels of boredom are more likely to engage in creative thinking and problem-solving. 

Ever wonder why those “shower thoughts” are so awesome? Well, it’s one of the rare moments when we’re truly alone, away from our devices, and our brains have the opportunity to spark new ideas. 

The Power of Slow Living

In a world that values constant busyness and productivity, learning to slow down and savor moments of stillness can seem like a pipe dream!  

I’m sure you’re reading this thinking, ‘yeah, right jules!’

I realize this can be a radical act of self-care, but even small steps can help us experience the beauty of the here and now, and find a deeper sense of gratitude and contentment. 

So, here are a few reasons why you should start getting good at doing nothing… and embrace slow living….

1. You Stop Complaining

Complaining is easy. And second nature to many of us!  But the truth is this: 

Complaining doesn’t solve problems.  Nope. 

So, if you have the ability to change a situation, take action. If you can’t, try shifting your perspective. 

For years, I would come home from work and download to my hubby all the drama, stories, and annoying people I had to deal with at work. (This wasn’t just a day once in a while; it had become my narrative.) 

There is ongoing discussion online about a study by Stanford that suggests complaining diminishes the size of the hippocampus, a critical part of the brain involved in problem-solving and intelligent thinking. (i.e., makes us dumber)

While there may be a time and place to express your thoughts, such as through journaling, spiraling into a negative mindset does not lead to any progress or growth. 

Plus, nobody wants to be around a Debbie-downer.

When we give ourselves more alone time, we have the chance to process our thoughts, find ways to comfort ourselves and better work through those negative thoughts. 

Not to mention, we’re much less likely to erupt with complaints to those around us!

2. You Show, Don’t Tell

It’s easy to say that one day, we’ll slow down or that we will rest when we’re dead. Sure, that’s fun to say, but it’s no way to live. 

But when we start prioritizing ourselves —we show ourselves and others that we mean it!

It’s not enough to talk about setting boundaries and making rest a priority. We’ve got to walk the talk and actually take action. 

No one else is going to do it for us. 

I remember telling my husband over and over that after just one more race, I’d finally take a break. But guess what? It never happened. I got too caught up in the excitement, the hustle, and the non-stop training. 

We need to mean what we say, and say what we mean. 

Bottom line: actions speak louder than words, my friends.  

Are you living an authentic life? (Or hustling to keep up the show with everyone else?) Let me ask you this…

What can you say no to this week?  

Where can you create margin in your life? 

When was the last time you were alone?

3. You Stop Caring What Other People Think (And Say)

As we prioritize self-care and embrace moments of stillness, a beautiful sense of confidence starts to flow through our lives.

We begin to care less about what others think or say about us and can gradually detach from the constant noise of external voices.

Rather than trying to hide our flaws and boost our strengths to seek approval, we start owning and acknowledging our imperfections. 

We no longer feel the need to consistently prove ourselves to the world. 

So, don’t underestimate the importance of keeping quiet… a listener is a learner!

Side note: I’ve been working on being more present and in tune to others during conversations, and it’s eye-opening!  I guess it’s because I no longer need to speak and receive as much external validation as before?

How To Start Doing Nothing

Sometimes we convince ourselves that everything is urgent and demands our immediate attention. 

But, more often than not, that’s just our reactive (vs proactive) nature kicking in. 

Trust me, I get it. Back when I was knee-deep in the tech marketing world, it felt like every task was an emergency. 

My husband would often remind me that not everything was a matter of life or death. Sure, it used to annoy me at the time (let’s be honest!), but once I stepped away from that hustle, I knew he was right all along. 

Don’t get me wrong, I realize there are people out there, like my friends in healthcare, who truly deal with life-and-death situations every single day. 

But my press release hitting the wire at the perfect moment on a random Tuesday was not.

When we step back and begin to embrace a slower pace of life, something magical starts to happen within us. 

So, how do you start doing nada?

1. Start small: Begin by setting aside just a few minutes each day for stillness. Use this time to simply be present and let your mind wander without any specific purpose or task. It’s amazing how even a few minutes of quiet can make a difference.

2. Disconnect and unplug: In our hyper-connected world, we’re constantly bombarded with notifications and distractions. Take intentional breaks from technology and create dedicated spaces for being offline.Go ahead and allow yourself to step away from the constant buzz of emails and social media.

3. Give in to boredom: As I mentioned above, instead of trying to fill every moment of your day with activities and stimulation, allow yourself to be bored. Boredom can spark creativity and lead to deeper self-reflection. You might be surprised what comes to mind in the quiet…

4. Practice mindfulness: Engage in activities that cultivate mindfulness, such as meditation, yoga, or even a simple walk in nature. These practices help you stay present and fully grounded in the current moment rather than getting caught up in worrying about the past or future.

5. Prioritize self-care: This might seem like a no-brainer – but make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Pencil in time for any activity that nourishes and replenishes your mind, body, and soul.

The Wrap: How To Start Doing Nothing and Start Slow Living

Remember, it’s not about doing absolutely nothing all the time. It’s about finding balance and creating space in your life to hear your own thoughts and find peace among the chaos.

I’m cheering you on!

XO,

Jules 

If you’re like me, you start panicking when you realize you have to shop for someone on your list who seems to have everything! You think, “What am I going to do this year?”

Well, don’t worry – Slow down, take a deep breath — I’ve got you covered! Check out this list of affordable gift ideas for the woman who seemingly has everything. From stylish accessories to cozy blankets, she’s sure to love something from this list. (I know I want it all!) Let’s get shopping….

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you purchase through a link.

1. iWALK Mini Portable Charger for iPhone

Perfect for the gal in your life who always seems to have a dead phone battery. This portable charger is cute, small, and even comes in pink!

2. Yoga Towel by InMotion

Have a yogi (or yogi-wannabe) on your list? This Yoga Towel by Yoga Mate is sure to please! It’s non-slip, washable and comes in adorable colors for any personality.

3. Stars Hollow – Luke’s Diner Sweatshirt

Let your bestie know you care about them with this sweet Gilmore Girls show-inspired sweatshirt.

4. Rae Dunn Holiday Mug

What coffee (or tea!) lover wouldn’t want this adorable holiday Rae Dunn Mug?! Its thick ceramic makes holding your favorite hot beverage almost as enjoyable as the caffeine inside. (Almost!)

5. Rayban Sunglasses

Everyone woman in your life would love a new pair of Ray Bans! This polarized design is perfect for hitting the slopes or sledding with the kids.

6. Weighted Blanket

There is nothing cozier on a cool winter night than cuddling up with a weighted blanket to drift off to sleep… It’s every gal’s dream!

7. Book: I’ll Be There (But I’ll be Wearing Sweatpants)

Let your bestie know how much you care with this fun & relatable paperback for the Holidays.

8. Hydro Flask

For your fitness friend who could up her hydration game! This insulated wide-mouth bottle is perfect for hitting the gym or another sesh on the Peloton.

9. Carhart Women’s Beanie

For your outdoorsy friend who is also fashion-forward, this Carhart Beanie with Pom is cute and functional!

10. Temporary Tatto Markers

Perfect for your hippie friend who has been eyeing some ink but hasn’t pulled the trigger yet! Sure to be a hit

11. Lip Smackers

A great gift for your childhood bestie that you’ll see again while home for the Holidays. The memories will come pouring back for both of you!

12. Shower Steamers Aromatherapy 

Give the gift of stress relief to that woman in your life who is always on the go! These lavender shower steamers can take all the holiday stress cares away…

13. Magic Bullet Blender

Got a health nut gal on your list who is always on the go? Look no further than this Magic Bullet blender for juices and smoothies without the messy clean-up!

14. Cast Iron Skillet

Cast iron is having a moment with chefs and home-chefs alike… This one is durable and reasonable for the lady cook in your life!

15. Monogram Stationary Set

For any woman in your life, this Monogrammed stationary set from Modern Pink Paper is sure to please. (Pro Tip — Plan on extra shipping time!)

16. Mrs. Sweatshirt

This adorable Mrs. Sweatshirt is both memorable and adorable for the newlywed in your life!

17. Ivory Infinity Scarf

This chunky ivory-colored infinity scarf matches any gal’s winter attire and is sure to be a hit!

18. Personalized Stacking Rings

For the lady in your life who would appreciate a personalized and thoughtful gift!

19. Sterling Silver Cross Necklace

This adorable modern sideways cross necklace is perfect for the faith-based gal in your life! (I have one and LOVE it!)

20. Wooden Journal Notebook

Every gal deserves a beautiful journal to keep her thoughts, goals, and dreams! This wooden journal is sturdy yet stylish!

21. HOME Throw Pillow 

Perfect for that gal who is moving away or just buying a new home! A great keepsake gift she’ll remember…

22. Dip Bowls | Entertaining Set 

These fun chip dip bowls make a fun and unique gift for your best friend who loves to stay in. Or, makes a great secret Santa pal who is hard to shop for!

23. “I Love you Sis” Makeup Bag

Not only is this make-up bag adorable, but it’s also functional too! Your gal pal or sister will surely fall in love… and who doesn’t need a new make-up bag, right?

24. Wine Therapy Stemless Glasses

This 4-set of stemless wine glasses is perfect for the WINO in your life! And I think we could all agree wine is therapy most days… wink

25. Funny Dish Towel 

These hilarious tea towels are all the rage — snag this for the girl in your life who needs a laugh this holiday season!

The Wrap – Inexpensive gifts for the woman who has everything

I hope this gift list gives you some ideas and sparks some inspiration for those ladies in your life who seem to have everything!

What’s on your gift list this year? I want to know!

xo, jules

“I haven’t seen you this happy before.” Her words pulled at my heart the moment they left her lips. My best friend saw something in me I hadn’t. 

As she continued, I was reminded of what a mess I used to be. I was held back by layers of social conditioning, fears, and limiting beliefs that left me burned out and sick….and it wasn’t until recently that I started peeling back the layers – one by one.

Healing is a journey.  But my friend, change from within is possible. And living a slow living lifestyle that’s true to you is within reach.

It’s not easy.  It takes a lot of effort and determination, but let me tell you, it’s so worth it. I know there is a reason the Lord brought me through this season, and I can honestly say I’m thankful for the journey.

Sometimes, we don’t realize how much progress we’ve made until we see and feel these shifts.

So, here are five signs that your true self is taking the lead and guiding you in your life …

1. You Prioritize Rest

It’s tough to find time for self-care, I get it. Yet, if our cup is empty, we won’t have much good to offer anyone.

I’ve noticed that when I don’t prioritize rest, I become less creative, less fun, and less patient. I’m more reactive and tired, and thoughts start spinning me out of control.  Bottom line: I’m the worst version of myself. 

But here’s the thing: Healing becomes infinitely harder when we’re exhausted on the hamster wheel. To truly be present and show up in this world the way we’re supposed to, we need to take care of ourselves—first and foremost.

Self-care looks different for everyone, but the more we embrace slow living, the more space we’ll find in our calendar to replenish and recharge. 

2. You Start Saying No

It wasn’t until I reached my forties that I finally found the courage to say “no!” Before that, I would either avoid showing up, come up with countless excuses, or, worst of all, deny myself what I truly wanted. (Which was usually embracing my introvert-self and being a homebody!)

Read: It took me 40 years & suffering burnout to realize I was an introverted extrovert

Living like that tore me apart, bit by bit, until I finally hit rock bottom and realized just how lost, broken, and sick I had become.

Of course, when you start saying “no,” people might react. They don’t want you to change. Their ego prefers you to stay exactly how you were in the past. 

But over time, they will come to accept it, and life will move on. 

Then, you’ll find yourself wondering why you suffered so much in the past when you can start to prioritize your own needs and desires.

3. You Appreciate Authentic Connections

You know what they say, “You are the sum of the 5 people you hang around with”

When we embrace our true selves, we naturally start to gravitate towards people who also live authentically. We want to be around others who mirror us, and the behavior patterns that we want to avoid also become clearer.

Bottom line: we become selective about who we keep in our circle. We want energy givers, not takers.

And, the more inner peace we cultivate, the more love and compassion we’ll have to share with the world.  

And that’s friggin beautiful…

4. You Talk Less (And Listen More)

I’ll admit I like to talk a lot. (Hey, I’m a girl!) Sometimes, I catch myself formulating my response before the other person has even finished talking.

Our unconscious mind has this incessant need to be in the spotlight and, of course, to be right all the time! 

But when we make an effort to be authentic in our interactions, it becomes easier to channel that energy into actively listening – asking questions and strengthening the bond.

And we all crave that deeper, more intimate, raw, and real connection…

5. You Know What You Want (And What It Takes)

Sometimes, we find ourselves so lost we don’t know who we are anymore? 

I’ve been there, too, when the fog was so thick that I had no idea what would bring me happiness or fulfillment – so I continued to wear my mask and find my worth in Ironman Triathlons.  

I’ve been determined to work through the tough stuff, even when it may seem more tempting to escape to Netflix or endlessly scroll through Instagram.

Taking action can be incredibly challenging, But here’s the thing – when we embrace our authentic self we can finally start to see what is genuinely meant for us and what isn’t.

And for that, we’ll do whatever it takes!

The Wrap – Living Authentically

Living authentically starts with taking responsibility for our inner world. Once we recognize that our own healing and happiness are in our hands, everything else starts to shift. 

We no longer blame others for our misery; instead, we understand that our healing journey is our own responsibility.

It’s a small but important perspective shift…

And remember, you may not even realize how much progress you’ve made. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of how far you have to go, but sometimes, a gentle reminder from a friend can show just how far you’ve already come. 

I’m cheering you on!

XO

jules