My Tug of War with Time
My husband just got me the new Apple iWatch for my birthday. I’m obsessed with timing, alarms, data, and all its bells and whistles. However, it made me think about how our lives are overrun by the ticking of the clock?
From the moment that pesky alarm rings to the final minutes of the day, we’re continuously racing against time, trying to squeeze the most out of every second. (I know I do!)
And while I pride myself on being type A and uber productive, I’ve come to realize that perhaps my greatest struggle lies not in managing time but in understanding Gods timing.
My Personal Walk Through Waiting
I’ve been on a personal journey of waiting … It’s a journey of patience, pain, healing, and faith. For years, I’ve battled a chronic illness. It wasn’t just a physical ailment; it seeped into the emotional and spiritual realms, leaving a sense of weariness that’s hard to even describe.
There were days when I prayed SO HARD for healing, moments when I bargained with God, and if I’m honest, there were times my frustration got the better of me. It took me until recently to learn this lesson: God’s healing isn’t just about the endpoint. It’s also about the journey and what we learn along the way.
During my most vulnerable moments, I discovered reservoirs of strength and resilience I never knew I possessed. They say we don’t really know our strength until we have to be strong….And while it took time, God’s healing hand worked both on my illness and my spirit.
But, healing wasn’t instantaneous – it was gradual, purposeful, and on His perfect schedule.
God’s Rearview Mirror Perspective
Isn’t it crazy how clarity often comes when we look back rather than when we’re in the middle of the storm? Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, events in our lives often only make sense when we view them as part of a larger picture.
There were countless moments during my illness when I felt stuck, when I couldn’t fathom why God wasn’t granting me the healing I so desperately needed (and thought I deserved!).
But now, as I’m traveling further from those moments, I’ve begun to see them differently. Each pain, struggle, and tear was a brushstroke in a masterpiece that was yet to be unveiled.
It’s only in the rearview mirror that we truly understand God’s impeccable timing.
Each season of life has its own beauty, its own purpose. The bud doesn’t blossom overnight, but when it does, it’s breathtaking.
The Hallway of Waiting
We’ve all heard the saying, “When one door closes, God opens a window.” But let’s talk about that space in between – the hallway. That space between the closed door and the open window is full of uncertainty, of waiting, and, quite frankly, darn frustrating!
Being in that hallway during my chronic illness was tough. The uncertain prognosis, the fluctuating mystery symptoms, the long line up of treatments – it was like being in a maze with no end in sight.
But here’s what I learned: the hallway, as agonizing as it is, is also sacred ground.
It’s where we’re stripped of our self-reliance, and we come face to face with our vulnerabilities when we encounter God most intimately.
In that silent, echoing hallway, His voice becomes clearer, His presence more tangible, and His promises more comforting. (I can promise you that!)
Impatience: The Silent Thief of Joy
Let me circle back to the concept of impatience. I don’t have to remind you that we live in an era of instant gratification – fast food, quick fixes, and rapid responses. (As I write this my phone is blowing up with text messages!)
But when it comes to God’s work in our lives, especially during trials, the timeline rarely moves at the pace we’re used to.
But this impatience can steal the joy of the present moment, the lessons we can glean from our situation, and the intimacy of walking down God’s path for us (Even when the path seems blurry!)
Leaning In and Trusting: A Continuous Journey
Despite the lessons, the revelations, and the healings, I won’t pretend I have it all figured out. (At all!) Some days are better than others. Some moments are clearer than the rest. But with every tick of the clock, there’s a renewed commitment in my heart – to lean in, to listen closely, and to trust God’s timing wholeheartedly.
If you find yourself in a similar hallway of waiting, be it health, career, or personal challenges, remember that it’s okay to feel restless. It’s natural to seek answers. But also remember to pause, breathe, and trust. and remember, we can and should trust Gods timing….
Read more about my personal healing story here!
Do you feel the weight of a pending decision? Are you in your own hallway of waiting? I’d love to hear your story. All of our journeys are unique and special…
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
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