At 43, I’m still a work in progress—just more honest about it.
This year I found myself reflecting on what I’ve learned—but also on what I’m still unlearning.
And what it means to live fully, honestly, and on my own terms.
This isn’t a list of rules or a how-to article…. It’s a letter to myself. And maybe, to you too. XO
1. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I used to wear exhaustion like a badge. As if being busy and burned out somehow proved my worth. But after a few major bumps in the road, I learned this: rest isn’t a luxury. It’s not something you “earn” – it’s essential maintenance. Slow living matters. If I’m constantly depleted, I can’t show up well for anyone—not my family, not my work, and definitely not myself. And what good am I then?
2. Your calendar is a reflection of your values.
There was a season in life when my days felt hijacked. Training, travel, meetings, errands, last-minute requests—none of it aligned with what actually mattered to me. I’ve learned to be very protective of my time. If something’s important—whether that’s a workout, time with Paul, or an hour to write—it goes on the calendar. Otherwise, distractions creep in. A color-coded Google Calendar isn’t confining; it feels like freedom to me!
3. What you consume, you become.
This one’s sneaky. I never used to think twice about what I scrolled, what I read, who I followed. But with age, I see the connection. The things I consume don’t just fill time—they shape my beliefs, my focus, my mood. Yes, you’ve seen less of me on Facebook – I’ve chosen to step away from the noise… not entirely, but with intention.
4. Gratitude shifts your world.
I journal, pray, and do my devotional each morning. Because the more I look for what’s good, the more I find it. And the less I’m tempted to chase happiness somewhere else.
5. Time with loved ones is everything.
I’ve had seasons where I chased success so hard that I forgot who was supporting me from the sidelines. But nothing I achieve matters if I’m disconnected from the people I love. A beautiful life isn’t just a list of accomplishments. It’s built on traveling to new places, dinners with real friends, conversations reminiscing with family, and late-night laughs with your besties.
6. People are thinking about you way less than you think.
All those moments I second-guessed myself, wondering how I came across, if I looked silly, if I said the wrong thing… truth is, no one was keeping score. Everyone’s busy worrying about themselves, not you.. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still working on this, but I’ve shifted to start doing things for me, not others…
7. The past is a teacher—not a place to live.
Some memories still sting. Some mistakes still whisper in the dark. But dragging them around like anchors only slows me down. I’ve learned to honor the past without being consumed by it. All the trials and lessons I’ve experienced have shaped me into who I am today, and I love who I’ve become. Pro Tip: The windshield is bigger than the rearview for a reason.
8. Your relationship can’t be your whole identity.
This was a tough one to learn. It’s so easy to outsource our joy to someone else—to think a partner, a job, a race, or a life milestone will finally make us feel whole. And all that chasing is friggin exhausting! But if you’re not content on your own, no external gratification will ever fix that. The best relationships are built when two full people choose to grow together—
9. Focus on what’s in your control.
This one took years. My head used to spin as I tried to fix every problem and control every outcome. But most things are just not my burden to carry. And that’s okay! Now, I am working to focus on what I can control—my response, my habits, my boundaries. Letting go and letting God isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom & strength! Something I’m working on every day…
10. Manage your energy, not just your time.
This one is HUGE! Some of us jive better late at night, others early mornings… but either way, learning to maximize your personal energy levels is the ticket to better productivity and flow states. My energy is sacred, I only have a finite amount each day… Now I pay attention to what drains me, what restores me, what brings me alive.
11. Trust yourself
You can’t live confidently if you second-guess every decision you make. And yet, for years, I did. I would spin and experience major decision fatigue that kept me stuck. I’ve learned that building trust with yourself is like building trust with anyone else: you show up. You follow through. You prove, over and over, that you’ve got your own back. It’s OK to trust your own gut….
12. Share your blessings. Be the light.
We all have God-given gifts that we can share with the world. When you’ve been through enough hard seasons, you realize how powerful a small act of kindness can be. A smile. A genuine compliment. A quick check-in text. The world doesn’t need more critics. It needs more light.
13. Tackle the thing you’re avoiding.
We often procrastinate because we’re waiting for some burst of energy or motivation to magically strike. But it’s progress that creates momentum – and often, the hardest part is simply getting started!
What have you been avoiding? The email. The workout. The hard conversation. The pile in the corner you’ve walked past for three weeks….(that’s me!)
Action shifts perspective….
14. Doing it all is a myth.
There will always be seasons. Seasons of hustle. Seasons of healing. Seasons where your career is front and center, and seasons where your family needs more of you. Times when your health takes priority, and times when rest is prioritized.
You’re not meant to do it all, all at once. Life isn’t a perfect balance—it’s a rhythm.
I’m working to lean into the season I’m in – right here. Right now.
15. Small steps still move you forward.
I’ve been writing my devotional in the quiet pockets of my mornings—just 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there. No perfect writing schedule. No creative retreat. Just steady progress.
And guess what? A year later… I’m almost ready to self-publish my first devotional.
That’s the power of 1% better every day. It doesn’t feel like much in the moment—but it stacks. It builds.
The Wrap
The biggest lesson of all?
That none of this is linear. Life is hard. Growth is messy. Healing takes time.
Sometimes, I still forget everything I’ve just written. Some days I still seek approval, still scroll too long, still say yes when I mean no. But then I remember—I’m not aiming for perfection. I’m aiming for presence.
I choose how I show up in this life…. Cheers to 43 years! ❤️
xo,
jules
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